Husband Training Tips for Wives

Wives, this section on husband training is exclusively (and obviously!) for YOU! If you want your husband to help out more around the house, then keep reading!

Wife giving her husband a To-Do List

(By the way, when I say "husband training," I am by no means implying that husbands are dogs who need training... in fact, in some cases it may be the wife who needs the training, but whether it be the husband or the wife, I'm sure you'll agree that training is important!)

First, let's take a look at why this is so important. Here are a few reasons:


  • You probably work your butt off for your husband... it's only fair that he contributes too!

  • The sooner you "train" your husband, the less stress you'll have getting him to help out as the years go by... after all, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks!"

  • As a married couple, you're supposed to be a team. If you're the only one doing the work (chores, etc), that's not fair team-play, is it?

I myself was lucky, because as a newlywed, my husband came very well trained... thanks to my mother-in-law! Andrew definitely went through "Gillian's School of Cooking and Cleaning" and passed with flying colors. However, there were still a few rough edges that needed to be smoothed after we got married, (and believe me, we're not at 100% yet, but getting better!).

So what have I learned about all this? Well, here are my top tips for husband training:

  • Be specific on what you want/need him to do.

  • Since men can't always remember when you tell them the 100 things you want done, write them down in point-form on a list for him. Also, write down a "due date" (or time) beside each item. I know it sounds a little high school-ish, but this takes away his potential excuse of "I thought you meant next week," when you really meant "today"!

  • Give him a quick and simple demo, if you think your husband may be unsure about how to perform the task at hand. For example, "Soak the dishes in warm, soapy water, wash them with this scrubber, rinse them with clean water, dry them with this dish towel, and put them back in the cupboard."

  • Make sure he has the right tools he needs to get the jobs done.

  • Give him gentle reminders if he hasn't done the items on the list. Men don't like to be nagged, but on the other hand, if you don't "remind" them, they often won't do it. This is tricky, but you've got to find that boundary between nagging and sticking up for what needs to be done.

  • Control your temper and tone of voice. If you've reminded your husband to wash the dishes 8 times and it still hasn't happened, don't flip out and start shrieking at him about it. It just isn't sexy, and the dishes won't get washed any quicker.

  • If your husband has done a task and it wasn't quite "up to par," gently offer your "suggestion" as to how it could be done a bit better, and why. He should take the hint, and it's a lot less degrading for him than saying, "That's not how you do it; you've done it all wrong." For example, if he's hung up the wet towels all bunched together and on top of each other, explain to him that they won't dry very well that way.

  • Make him a playlist of his favorite (and upbeat, motivating) tunes... think rock'n'roll! Blast the songs as loud as the neighbors will tolerate. This can help make the chores a little less painful for him!

  • Praise, praise, annnnnnd... more praise! Men love to hear when they've done a good job, so give your man some positive reinforcement and tell him a well-deserved "Good job," or "Wow, that bathtub is GLEAMING now that you're finished with it, " or "Man, I've never seen our place this clean before!"

  • Rewards... after your husband has worked hard, it definitely doesn't hurt to reward him with some steak and beer, or... use your imagination!

By the way, not all of these above husband training tips are from me... some are directly from my husband when I asked him the question, "What is the best way for a wife to 'train' her husband?". His answers were quickly followed up by the comments, "Who says it's the husband who needs the training?!", and, "Is there such a thing as wife training?!"

His most important tip for husband training? "Don't be a nag!"






Wives, don't take husband training too far. Here's a little word of warning about husband training.





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