Questions to Ask
BEFORE Marriage
These questions to ask before marriage should be asked while you are dating someone... and at the VERY latest while you're engaged. If the person you're with isn't "marriage material," then you're really just wasting your time dating them. Or look at like this: Every day you're with this person is a day you're missing out looking for someone who would be a whole lot more suitable for you! Often when people ask me for marital advice, I think to myself, "If only they had married someone different to start with..." So many "pains" in marriage can be avoided just by marrying the right person to start with. So have a good look at the questions below and think about each of them carefully and honestly!
Questions to Ask Before Marriage #1
How long have we known each other? A wise friend of mine once suggested that you should know each other for at LEAST one year before getting engaged. This gives you the chance to see each other in all four seasons. How do they react at family gatherings at Christmas? Are they moodier at certain times of the year? How do they react to challenges that come up in life (eg- being sick, not liking their job, etc). Are they a consistent person- or are they all they all over the map?
Questions to Ask Before Marriage #2
Can he/she hold down a job? This is one of the TOP questions to ask before marriage, according to a pre-marriage advice specialist in a well-known newspaper recently. I know it sounds a bit "money-focused," but it's true. Don't be fooled into thinking that your love for each other is all that matters, and that your love can overcome the lack of responsibility and money from your future husband/wife- it WILL be a big issue for you!
Questions to Ask Before Marriage #3
Does he/she want to have kids? While the thought of having kids may still be several years down the road, you definitely need to talk about it! Imagine your disappointment if you're looking forward to being a mom/dad and assume your boyfriend/girlfriend is too, only to find out a few years into your marriage that they're really NOT into it. This can be a total deal-breaker, so make sure you talk about it early enough, even if it seems a bit awkward at the time!(Andrew brought this up on our second date, which freaked me out a little, but looking back on it now, it was a good thing.) Why drag out a relationship (or even start one) if you can already see major "red flags"?
Question #4
What are his/her parents like? Ever heard the saying "The apples doesn't fall far from the tree"? Well, it's usually true that children turn out quite similarly to their parents. Is your girlfriend's mom 100 pounds overweight? Chances are that your girlfriend will look a bit like that too when she's her mom's age! Is your boyfriend's dad constantly unemployed and chasing numerous women at once? Chances are that your boyfriend may end up doing the same thing down the track.This is not to say that people always turn out to be carbon copies of their parents. There are plenty of "success stories" out there of people raised by terrible parents who turned out wonderfully. This though, is the exception, and not the norm. Look at your partner's parents' lives carefully.
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