Reading Body Language
in Your Marriage
Do a Google search on reading body language, and you'll get a long list of sites that all basically tell you the same things: arms crossed means they're defensive, eyes looking up and to the right means they're recalling, and touching their nose means they're lying.A good start, but how does that help you in your marriage? I mean, chances are that you're not defensive with each other or lying to each other too often (hopefully!). So what else can we get out of reading body language? I'd like to suggest that the body language of each person is unique to that person (apart from general signs like the ones I mentioned above). Therefore, you have to learn and remember the body language signals of your spouse, and how to react to them. For example, when my husband Andrew comes home from work, I can read his body language and tell how he's feeling without him even having to tell me. (Am I good or what?!!)
If his shoulders are slumped forward a bit I can tell he's tired, if his eyes look a certain way I can tell he's hungry, and from the way he moves I can tell whether he's in a good mood, or if he's feeling impatient. From there I know how to react: I tell him to go relax on the couch for a few minutes and bring him a drink and a snack while I finish making dinner. So what can you learn from this about reading body language in your spouse? Here are a few things to keep in mind: - First, realize that reading body language in someone takes time to develop. Don't worry if you're not getting it 100% in the first few months.
- Make an effort to be observant of your spouse's body language and what it means.
- Commit your findings to memory so you'll know for the future. For example, if your spouse gives you hazy look, it may mean that they have a migraine coming on, and that you should quickly dim the lights and get their meds ready.
- If you have trouble with your memory, write it down. I know it sounds a bit corny to make a list in your dayplanner or PDA of your spouse's body language signs, but hey, if that's what does the trick, go for it!
- Notice patterns. For example, your spouse may come home from work every day feeling the same way (tired, hungry, frustrated from the commute, etc). Make an effort to be accommodating. Ask yourself what you could do to make them feel better. In this example, assuming you're home first, maybe you could have some food ready for them and the place tidied up a bit to help them feel more relaxed.
Remember that in marriage, contrary to human nature, it's NOT all about you! Your main focus should be on your spouse and making them feel great. (And if you BOTH do this, then BOTH of you will feel great... funny how that works, eh?!). Reading body language is an important part of figuring out how your spouse is feeling, and what you can do about it. Of course, another important part is
communication in marriage!
The better you get at all this, the more your marriage will grow, strengthen, and mature, which of course is the whole point of being married in the first place!
Return from Reading Body Language to Marriage Advice
Return to Advice-for-Newlyweds.com Home Page
New! Comments
Have your say about what you just read! Leave a comment in the box below.
|
